I think you’re meant to update a blog more often than once a year. However, this has not occurred. We will try harder in 2015, or something.
Pihla would now like to sum up some life lessons learned in the past year:
Getting married is super-stressful. The day itself is nice, but it’s not the pinnacle of your existence and life goes on immediately. Like, the day after is still your life and unfortunately you have to keep living it. The trash needs taking out, bathroom needs tidied, food shopped etc. You cannot forever bask in the possible glory and golden memories of your wedding day. So worry less when you plan, it’s just one day out of a possible 27 375 or so (I estimated my life span to be an encouraging 75 years).
A work-life balance is very important. As in, don’t put all your eggs in one basket (work). As work may suck and all your proverbial eggs may break and land on the carpet to form one god-awful mess that you spend all your nights scrubbing off and have no energy for anything else. The protestant work ethic is alive and well in Finland. 70% of a Finnish person’s sense of self esteem is tied to work-related achievement or lack thereof (studies – ask my therapist which ones, I can’t remember). If your sense of self-worth is dependent on external messages, this is not a good thing, for those messages can be bad (eg. work: you are not appreciated, given too easy or too challenging work, less pay than others, allround treated crummily). This is my most valuable life lesson of the year: if you don’t have an internal source of self-worth (I don’t love myself but I am learning to at least like myself), make sure your external sources are many and varied in case one of them doesn’t deliver. Have more friends, take part in more hobbies (as you’re likely to get positive feedback from at least some of them), volunteer, communicate with your family etc.
Take more exercise! Unfortunately in order to stay healthy in the mind as well as the body you have to move. Even if it’s just a half-hour walk on your lunch hour to work through some job-related anxieties. I have been very depressed lately (I think I’m allowed to use this word as I’ve got a diagnosis) and getting out of the house has been challenging, so exercise has been too. It’s a freakin struggle to make yourself go out but tough, if you wanna feel better, you gotta shake that behind. I like to dance so I’ve been enjoying some twerking in the privacy of my house. Booty-dancing is surprisingly hard on the thigh muscles, you really feel the burn. My favourite tracks to dance to currently are ‘KStylis: Booty Hopscotch’, ‘2 Chainz ft. Lil Wayne: Twerk Season’ and ‘French Montana ft. Nicki Minaj: Freaks’, respectively.
Being adult doesn’t mean sacrificing the things you truly love and enjoy. I will never enjoy mortgages, talking about plumbing solutions for one’s renovated bathroom, taxes, book-keeping and other such tasks that I view to be of the ‘adult realm’. I like binge-watching/listening to pop culture in all of its glorious forms, playing music, drinking rum, writing really short stories, painting bits of recycled material to call it jewellery, wearing clothes that are probably too young for me and singing. That is me, I will probably never change and that is cool. I shall not pretend otherwise because of some notion of other people wanting me to be more grown up (nobody thinks about what you do, no-one cares!)
Last-but-not-least life lesson learned: my husband loves the most of anyone I know. He has to love me for me when I don’t love myself (most often), he loves us for us when I can’t (sometimes although I really try), he loves me because he wants to (that crazy beast), and he even needs to find some love to love himself (sometimes I think this is an afterthought for him). This amounts to an awfully big mountain of love. I dunno where he gets it all from but I do know he is a total champ for it.
Yours, Master P in the hizzee